Is it me?

Could it be me?
I read something someone said about me having a nasty attitude. I could not believe it and to think I have done everything I could to help this person. I was a ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. But I have gotten so tired of people taking advantage of me. I'm a middle child. I'm the one who did what she was suppose to. I had a older sister that my mom waited 9 years to have and a twin brother who is my mom's only living son. And behind me is my younger sister who is the baby. So you see I'm the middle child I took shit off of my relatives and never complained. I had a aunt who had a bunch of kids and I would take care of those little monsters just to get some attention. So when I grew up I started speaking up for myself and some time I get a little vulgar with it but I want people to know I'm not the same little girl the use to push around. But I still have a good heart I have let people stay with me and not pay a single bill and I would sit in my room and cry because I didn't know how I would pay my bills. I have given people my last dollar and not thought about buying pampers the next week. But to say I have a nasty attitude is outrageous and hurtful. I still get my feelings hurt like I moved to Texas so that I could be with my sister to help me out with my two kids. Sometimes they act like they didn't want to be bothered watching my kids so that I can work so I can up with sending them to there dads so that I can try to work to jobs and go to school save some money and make things better for them. Then I heard there mouths about how sorry I was and that a real mother would not send her kids away. But there is no one to help when I can only pay half the light bill and they turn off my lights or when I get behind and on other bills and they cut something else off. Know I love my kids to death and there is nothing in this world I won't do for them but and haven't did for them. There are something I have done in the past that I would never repeat to anyone else but they got what they needed. Anyways not only my kids but others I have done for I let someone stay with me and she had two kids also and she didn't pay any bills. My lights got cut off for three hours and the bitch talked shit. She was just upset that she missed her soap operas did I say she didn't have a job. I have done more for people in my life then most and for some one to say that I had a nasty attitude hurt my feeling. But I would not let her know that and if she reads this who cares. She is the one who has a stank attitude most of the time. She only does stuff to benefit herself if she can't get something out of it she probly won't do it. I hate asking her to do something for me. like my car broke down a few months ago and now I don't have a car. She acts like I'm bothering her when I ask for a ride to the store or could she drop my daughter off at home. But she isn't always that bad only when she has her ass on her back. But lord knows I'm trying to be a better person and not let people get to me but sometime people can bring the sailor in me. I think I will just close this one down and finish up another time.

Someone special

I have been looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. True I have been married but the next time I wan to marry for love not because the condom broke and I didn't want to be just another baby mama.But me and my ex are cool we haven't been together in aver 5yrs and we will never ever get together but we can talk and be in the same room and not get in to it. I can't stand drama and he can't either so if we have problems we talk them out not asking for much he doesn't have to be LL fine but at least I would want him cute enough to go out in public with. I want him to be sweet, you know the kind to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie with. I want him to be thankful when I cook dinner and fix him a plate so that he doesn't have to get up. I want a man who will not tell me to lay down and go to sleep after making love twice and I still want more. I want a man who can love my two kids like he was the one who planted the seed. Is that to much to ask for? A man who don't mind helping out with the bills so that we won't have to sit in the dark.I want a man who knows and feels unconditional love for me and all that I love. I don't think I have ever felt that.But when I do I will beat a sister down for mine. I love love but it seems it doesn't love me. All my sisters here have men that love them I feel like the odd man out sometimes they talk about there men I try to sound interested but real I wish they would just talk about something else. But I do believe there is someone for everyone

Changing things up.

I feel bad. I moved to Texas about two years. But before I moved here I lived in Kansas City and I had a roommate there and before I moved here she moved to Arkansas. She wanted her twins to be near there father. Who happens to be my twin brother. Anyway before she moved I told here I was coming to Texas and told her to come with me so that me and my sister could help her raise the twins since she said that her family wouldn't. Well she went on to AR and I came on here. Well we stayed in touch and after her and her family stayed into it she called me crying and said she wancome to TX I told her that she could come on and we could get a place together. Well she moved here in Feb and we got a place together. BY June we were into it about some he said she said bullshit but in July we moved into our own place. Now I feel bad she is all the way down here with no family and we barely talk. She picks my daughter up every morning and takes her to school and picks her up and bring her home. She can be sweet as pie some times but she can be a bitch to. I'm not the type to kiss anyone's ass and I don't apologize for shit but I still care about her and I love her kids to death even if they are smart mouth bad asses. She keeps to her self and I just don't want her to think that I could care less. But when we lived together she stayed in her room and didn't talk to me but she would talk to my little 12 year old cousin and tell her little grown ass all my business. ( I can't stand grown ass kids) But that is one of the reasons we don't talk to each other. But I was thinking she has a birthday coming up I was thinking of throwing her a party at my house. But she is the type to not show up and if she did that all hell would break loose. I know my twin brother talks shit to her about me but I could care less but if I ever heard anything he said bad about me I would not have anything to do with him ever. I couldn't tell anyone that but I'm glad to get it off my chest.

Life is funny

Hello to everyone. I have had a lot on my mind and my sister told me about how she told me about her blog. So I decided to start my own. I think of simpler times. I remember going to dances and hanging out with my friends. I remember when I was about 11 and every weekend we stayed over to my grandmothers. It was my three cousins Vicki, Tina, and Micheal. There was four of us my two sisters Shalonda and Kisha. My twin brother Randy and myself. remember Shalond and Vicki were a year older than me and Randy and Tina was a year younger than us and Kisha and Micheal were a year younger that her. We stayed in a lot of shit I remember the Dream Team Scientist. My brother made that one up. Vicki and Shalonda didn't like to hang out with us so it would just be the four of us. We would take our grandma's pills, what ever we would find in the medicine cabinet and the kirtchen and mix it all together until it started bubbling and say that we had made a creation. it was so funny then. Life is not shit what I thought it would be I tell you that. I thought I would stay a virgin until my wedding night and Have four kids and be a nurse I was going to to do it all. I would never had thought I would have kids and no husband but as I said life is funny.