Am I crazy?

I have been married about 6 yr and 5 out of that six we have been separated and when my husband asked me I thought about giving him a second chance but after I thought of all the lies I found out about after we were married and the other babies he has I thought it would be best if we stayed parents and not husband and wife. I sometime miss having a man in the bed with me but trust it isn't empty that often. I have been dating this guy who is to old for me and he doesn't treat me that well but it's comforting knowing i have him around even though he is always busy and never comes to see me. I mean we have been dating for almost 3 yr and I have never been to his house. I have never met his kids. We never go out. Everyone says he is married but I still don't think so. I can call him in the middle of the night and he will answer his phone and say baby I love you. Have I sunk so low that I'm willing to date a 52 yr old guy who is sometimes mean and unreasonable. I remember back in the day when I would treat guys the way this man is treating me. Karma is a bitch sometime but I'm so tired of him. I think I need tojust get a way and get my groove back I mean hey I still look good even if I put on a little weight. I think it is time for a road trip. Just gass up my car and where ever i end up will be where i party for the weekend........Anyone want to ride shotgun?